But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
