You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
