More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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