I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
and you fell through a lawn chair
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
