Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
