we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
