no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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