Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize