That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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