May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
