I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
