I don't think brook has ever known best
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
