I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
