No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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