Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
