What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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