i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
