You're a womanizer and a bitch.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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