My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Dicks are not precious.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
