Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
