If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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