Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
