so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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