Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Randomize
