There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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