It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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