Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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