The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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