my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
