Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
