Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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