its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
