just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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