I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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