Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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