He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
