he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she pinky promised me she was 18
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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