I didn't shave. On purpose
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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