Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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