Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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