..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
