Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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