I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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