Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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