Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
