Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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