Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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