feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
