Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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