Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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