my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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