I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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