yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
