3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
