Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
