Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
