went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
