i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
