I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
