the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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