Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
