My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
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Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
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I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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