Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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