her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
