it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
